The Evil in Pemberley House: Volume I of the Memoirs of Pat Wildman by Farmer Philip José & Eckert Win Scott

Author:Farmer, Philip José & Eckert, Win Scott [Farmer, Philip José]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Meteor House Press
Published: 2015-10-23T00:00:00+00:00

SIXTEEN

P atricia had slumbered extraordinarily deeply, except for Parker getting her up at all hours. She couldn’t stop thinking about Bess-Carla, though she chalked it up to a dream, a very vivid dream, brought on by Carla’s flirting and the stories about Bess’ ghost.

Still, she was prone to vivid dreams, a result of her boundless imagination and genius intellect. She was also used to sex dreams, although in the past they had usually been about her father, or occasionally and more recently, Denis. She had never dreamed about another woman before. Technically, that wasn’t true, she corrected herself. Rather, she would dream about her father and mother making love, observing them unseen from a hidden doorway or window, or from an impossible vantage point floating above them. Then she would invariably become an active participant, entering the dream and displacing her mother as it progressed.

In the dreams, her father would explain that it was wrong and that he would get help for her. She had to get over her complex, her obsession, grow up. Her fixation on him also hurt her mother. She needed treatment.

However, it was her dream. She controlled it. Thus, he’d keep on thrusting, deep into her core. He was behind her. On top of her. Then she was on top. Always she came in shudders and gasps, waking up to drenched bedcovers.

Like she had last night.

She had been intelligent and self-aware enough to understand, clinically, that she had a problem. Her father had gotten her the best doctors, the best psychologists. She was high-functioning, and her hang-up with her father hadn’t interfered with most aspects of her life. Still, no one had been able to help her. And she had a hard time banishing her father from her thoughts when she had sex.

She had been grateful, at least, that her obsession with her father didn’t prevent her from having orgasms with her sexual partners. Although she hadn’t had a very good one when she had lost her virginity to Clive. Her experience with Helen Benson the following year had truly awakened her, sexually, and after that she had fulfilling sexual experiences with several men, though still always colored by and contrasted with her fantasies about her father, whom she always visualized while with other men. And to be honest, not just her fantasies, for it would be very hard indeed for any man to compare favorably to her father, in any way, intellectually, physically, or sexually.

After Helen, Patricia didn’t have any other encounters with women—until Pemberley—even though it was Helen who first succeeded in bringing her to orgasm while she wasn’t fantasizing about her father or comparing her partner to him.

And her dream the prior night—it could only have been a dream—in which her father played no part, had left her entirely satisfied and fulfilled.

Her father and mother were dead. But for the first time, she grieved for her father without the sensation of loss of a lover. Rather, she felt only the loss of a parent.

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